hello world...

...meet boy. look like one at least. decided to chop off hair (again) on a whim. now left with mullety-wig that got shred to bits in a lawnmower. perhaps i can play the gender-confused card. if i slick my hair back, i could pull a mean david bowie impression, i bet.

anyway, attended a recommended lecture today by lee edelman (who basically resists any notion of reproductive futurism and the Child as the privileged locus from which such discourse is reproduced/reiterated) and ended up watching gay porn. he had a point, a message behind it. but it was strangely strangely strange to simply spectate upon gay porn like a detached "academic"...i mean, multiple men were masturbating into a "collective" pitcher literally collecting massive amounts of ejaculation, and this guy was saying how the director was letting the "lips of [their] assholes" speak. hum. this is why i sometimes have to rethink what i'm doing, why i'm here. i need to get writing again..creatively. not too happy with where i am lately. feels forced. must revert to the natural - if there ever was such a thing.

goodnight world.

the death drive made real

my other is always an english professor who's completely out-of-reach. he's most likely a) married/committed, b) has kids, c) is gay, d) or is some combination of the aforementioned points. no fair, i say. why is it so impossibly difficult to find someone with the least bit of intelligence and wit to boot? is it that my "least" is a standard set too impossibly high?

no troll or elf sightings...

...but the surreal landscapes of iceland:

vikings, elves, and putrid shark, oh my

hello iceland! (well, in t-minus 3 days)....

so direly in need of escape as my bum is literally sore from sitting so much + my "fainting couch," as some friends have deemed it, and i have become inseparable due to the innumerable hours spent reading/writing there. i'm beginning to think if i don't detach myself now, i'll melt between the cushions as another material casualty - same category as chump change and ancient food crumbs. also my mind is beginning to resemble putrid shark + seeks a jolt of imaginative fury, renewal, oblivion, stimulation of the sublime kind. not sure if reykjavik will render that, but at least i can pretend i'm living out some of those icelandic medieval tales i read last semester.