...meet boy. look like one at least. decided to chop off hair (again) on a whim. now left with mullety-wig that got shred to bits in a lawnmower. perhaps i can play the gender-confused card. if i slick my hair back, i could pull a mean david bowie impression, i bet.
anyway, attended a recommended lecture today by lee edelman (who basically resists any notion of reproductive futurism and the Child as the privileged locus from which such discourse is reproduced/reiterated) and ended up watching gay porn. he had a point, a message behind it. but it was strangely strangely strange to simply spectate upon gay porn like a detached "academic"...i mean, multiple men were masturbating into a "collective" pitcher literally collecting massive amounts of ejaculation, and this guy was saying how the director was letting the "lips of [their] assholes" speak. hum. this is why i sometimes have to rethink what i'm doing, why i'm here. i need to get writing again..creatively. not too happy with where i am lately. feels forced. must revert to the natural - if there ever was such a thing.
goodnight world.
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