down the rabbit-hole

can you tell that i'm just a wee bit obsessed with time these days? past present future present past futurepastpast pre-sent futuresenturentsapast...well, i certainly am, thanks to this grad. seminar i'm taking this semester on the time of theory. it's been a whirlwind. i'll never look at time in the same way again, but as an heirloom of a handkerchief that can be crumpled, unfolded, re-crumpled, re-unfolded, so that a multiplicity of histories can touch in a simulataneous moment that is always moving, never fixed. what a sham time is! yet what a sham it is that we let it still dictate our lives! there's even no escape in knowing...

forget spiders

i'd like to believe, instead, that the living ghosts of your past crawl through your mouth while asleep and overtake you in sleep, in dream, in waking consciousness. an incubus of sorts that allows you to hold some creative freedom in interpreting the ghosts' words.

tidal waves

i had a dream last night that i half-drowned. i was aboard this rickety, wooden ship (i think somewhere around newfoundland) when tidal waves lurched forward out of the sky with their clenched, white fists ready to mince me to bits. i remember the only refuge from these waves was underwater, where everything was so silent and still. the best part? i could breathe underwater for up to 6 hours. i'm still convinced that i see glimpses of my "past" life in my dreams. perhaps i was a sailor in the 16th century. or was i simply sea anenome? i swoon over the idea that we're all indiscernable, even ghostly fragments of the past, present, future. makes me think about which pieces of me will live on even if there is nobody left to remember.